So I found this
checklist online to determine if your child is strong-willed.
___ almost never accepts words like "impossible" or phrases like "it can’t be done."
___ can move with lightning speed from a warm, loving presence to a cold, immovable force.
___ may argue the point into the ground, sometimes just to see how far into the ground the point will go.
___ when bored, would rather create a crisis than have a day go by without incident.
___ considers rules to be more like guidelines (i.e. As long as I’m abiding by the "spirit of the law", why are you being so picky?)
___ shows great creativity and resourcefulness—seems to always find a way to accomplish a goal.
___ can turn what seems to be the smallest issue into a grand crusade or a raging controversy.
___ doesn’t do things just because "you’re supposed to" --it needs to matter personally.
___ refuses to obey unconditionally—seems to always have a few terms of negotiation before complying.
___ is not afraid to try the unknown; to conquer the unfamiliar (although each SWC chooses his or her own risks).
___ can take what was meant to be the simplest request and interpret it as an offensive ultimatum.
___ may not actually apologize, but almost always makes things right.
You're supposed to mark the statements that resemble your child...
0-3 You’ve got it, but you don’t use it much.
4-7 You use it when you need to, but not on a daily basis.
8-10 You’ve got a very healthy dose of it, but you can back off when you want to.
11-12 You don’t leave home without it—and it’s almost impossible to not use it.
Hmmm. Hayden and Meredith are on the low end. Philip is only 2 so not sure about him yet but I think he'll be there with them. Stephanie hits 10 of them - not the 2nd one or the 2nd to last one. But at 4, she can not back off when she wants to - or she just never wants to.
At least there's a positive - "Being strong-willed does not have to be a negative trait! I often remind parents of SWCs that their children may change the world—after all, it’s not likely that the world is going to change them! Your SWC may be God’s instrument for making the world a better place. It is a great gift to have a child with firm convictions, a high spirit, and a sense of adventure. Think about some of the great leaders and innovators in our past—Thomas Jefferson, Marie Curie , Albert Einstein, Joan of Arc, Thomas Edison, and others. Each of these people held up under adversity, stood for his or her convictions, and persisted against all odds. They refused to believe their dreams were impossible."
I think I'll have to read this lady's book.
She likes the 'layered' look.